Opinions can be the root of all evil, creating misery and bias. This tenet of Stoicism might be the origin point of the common saying, “It is what it is.” Things happen, and things need to be done in response, but our opinions about all of that are rarely all that important, and they typically distract from what really matters in the moment. Also, going back to those things that happen, it’s not really the things that happen that upset us, but our opinions about those things.
We often create our own anxiety from our imagination. Think of that thick BEO packet for a busy week, and sitting through that banquet meeting, going through the details of those events. There’s food to be ordered, a schedule to be written, production to be done, rooms to be set up, etc., and none of that includes the actual execution in the moment. It’s easy to start writing out tasks that need to be done in the upcoming week and get anxious about the proverbial Mt. Everest standing in front of us, but losing sleep on Tuesday about how busy Friday night is going to be doesn’t help. There will inevitably be moments during any really busy day that could be a little painful but living in fear of those moments only prolongs the pain. If you suffer before it is necessary, you suffer more than you need to.
This translates to “remember we all must die.” There are many potential takeaways from this, and an entire philosophy could be built on this alone. For me, this one is about keeping things in perspective, determining what is important, what is really worth getting upset about, and what isn’t.
This one comes down to embracing the challenges in front of us and committing to doing the hard stuff. If our team is struggling with a technique, then let’s work on getting better at it. Some days, the answer is simply that we have to cook faster because there’s a lot to do—the answer doesn’t lie in finding shortcuts. Sometimes, though, this is about leaning into having the hard conversations and addressing issues between teammates and coworkers instead of trying to avoid them.
Complaining does nothing but breed negativity. If you’re familiar with Jocko Willink, he sells bracelets that say “GOOD,” something he adopted when he was training SEALS for combat. When things were going wrong, he would say “Good,” instead of an expletive, and look at the opportunity to teach, learn, grow, and improve the team. Inevitably, we have to accept what we can’t change but focus on changing what we can. Complaining about what we can’t change is illogical and wasteful of our time. Instead, focus on the actions we need to take.
