A client once remarked on how calm I appeared, a contrast to my earlier, more energetic leadership style. Having spent the first 20 years of my career as a chef, I understood that challenges appeared within minutes, not days, and there is little room for pause or quiet. Decisions often had to be made in 30 seconds—right or wrong. Safety was always crucial, especially when supervising a young cook working with hot oil, open flames, or powerful mixers. There was rarely time to sit back and wait for an epiphany. Instead, an excellent chef stayed on the balls of their feet, moving quickly, anticipating needs, and sometimes raising their voice in the name of safety. What we called coaching involved predicting problems and making rapid corrections.
Interview committees frequently ask candidates about their weaknesses during the selection process. Common questions focus on feedback from recent performance reviews and areas where improvement may be needed. I often reflect on how I would answer such questions and what responses would resonate with a selection committee. Successful interviewing requires practice, a skill rarely taught outside formal education. As my experience and leadership responsibilities grew, several areas of my communication had to improve in order to reach future opportunities. Self-development is always an individual choice, and those who embrace it grow.
Response to Negativity
Early in my culinary career, I struggled with negativity—not only in how I responded to criticism, but also in how I processed disappointment when others disliked my food or interactions. A predictive index assessment confirmed that criticism was difficult for me, despite choosing a profession centered on customer opinion and preference.
This reality became clear throughout my culinary career. Later, when I transitioned into front-of-house leadership, I was no longer personally preparing the food. The experience felt less personal and emotional, and connecting with guests became another dimension of the dining experience. Food evokes strong emotions, which shape preferences and play a central role in how people experience a meal.
Delivery of My Message
During the second phase of my leadership development, the delivery of my feedback required improvement. Although my intentions were positive, employees often misinterpreted my message. Communication relies heavily on tone and body language, not just words. My direct approach sometimes came across as curt, and I occasionally behaved in ways that I would not have considered professional.
I once followed the advice of a respected mentor who said, “When I stop giving you feedback, it means I have stopped caring about your growth.”
At times, my communication also included inappropriate language and profanity. While these habits developed unintentionally, they created a perception that did not align with expectations for public leadership communication. As a result, several colleagues raised concerns about my readiness for advancement to the next level of leadership.
Many strong leaders encounter this social challenge. It can hinder career progress because they assume their previous methods are sufficient. However, outstanding leaders often recognize that adapting and evolving their approach contributes more to long-term success than intelligence or personal opinion alone.
Perception of Being Aloof or Dismissive
After several years working in Asia, colleagues and team members began to comment on my reserved demeanor and, at times, perceived aloofness. Some questioned my lack of eye contact or facial engagement during conversations, particularly when our viewpoints differed. I had developed a habit of closing my eyes or focusing on a fixed point while listening, which helped me concentrate more deeply—almost like a subtle form of meditation amid surrounding noise. This behavior was eventually noticed by one of my presidents and discussed during an annual review.
After reading the quote, “Your opinion of me is none of my business,” I began to understand the importance of focusing on strengthening my own confidence. Many people worry about how others judge them and try to change those perceptions. Yet those opinions are not facts; they belong to others. It is more productive to remain focused on positive intentions and continued improvement.
My experience working with Chinese colleagues reinforced the importance of accuracy in statements, clarity in communication, and concise delivery. During my tenure with an Asian organization, I learned to speak only when invited, which greatly strengthened my listening skills and contributed significantly to my professional development.
After every professional conversation, I reflect on what I intended to communicate, what I actually conveyed, and what I wish I had articulated differently. This practice reinforces the understanding that perfection is unattainable in human interaction and encourages a commitment to continuous learning. These communication blind spots directly influence leadership and shape one’s professional image. Popular culture has created a certain image of chefs, and it is our responsibility as leaders to reshape that image into a more thoughtful and successful one.
