The phrase “call your friends and loved ones” is so frequently said that it often loses its impact, but this holiday season has compelled me to contemplate its true significance more deeply than ever before.
In September 2001, I experienced the sudden loss of my mother. This was shortly after our move to the USA in June, and her passing coincided with the Twin Towers attacks, preventing my return home. Less than a year later, in July 2002, I unexpectedly lost my father. My financial situation and student status in the USA made it impossible for me to travel and be with relatives during these times, leaving my sister to handle everything alone.
As I grow older and embrace fatherhood, the importance of family in our lives becomes ever more apparent. I deeply miss my parents and wish I had spent more time with them. My career has led me to live in several states, including Ohio, Indiana, Maryland, Connecticut, and now Texas, where we’ve made friends. Despite the illusion of connection through social media, I realize the need for more meaningful contact with these friends.
This Christmas was unique; my in-laws visited from Venezuela, a journey they undertake for about 5 to 6 weeks each year. However, this year, only two will return, as my mother-in-law fell ill and is now in hospice care at our home, having been transferred there on Christmas Day. This is my first experience being close to someone in terminal care. It’s a profound and life-changing experience, contrasting greatly with my brief encounter with my grandmother in similar circumstances.
The holiday season, especially between Thanksgiving and Christmas, was typically hectic. I worked six-day weeks, with long hours. With the situation at home, we canceled our New Year’s plans and are taking each day as it comes. I’m trying to support my 16-year-old son through this process, offering perspective and teaching him to provide support to others. It’s a reminder of the importance of being present and available for our loved ones, a lesson often overlooked in our daily work lives.
I’ve also made an effort to give my wife moments of respite, like dinners out or quick grocery trips, to help alleviate some of the stress. For me, the key lesson is the importance of being there for others, asking questions, and reaching out. I’ve started calling friends, leaving messages, sending texts, and catching up with relatives I don’t often speak to.
Writing this has been a somber yet cathartic experience, helping me navigate a flood of emotions. My hope is that sharing my story serves as a reminder of life’s fragility and the importance of cherishing every moment with our loved ones. Life is unpredictable, and we must seize every opportunity to express care and affection to those around us.
