As I stood in the crowded formal dining room of a prestigious club in the Southeast, the chronically over-served member at the table was in the middle of her rant while her husband absently nodded along. “This isn’t fit to serve a dog,” she said. “Not only that, but I hate the canned chili that you use on hot dogs [we made it from scratch], and everything that you serve is frozen [it wasn’t]. Are you all that short-staffed in the kitchen?” Many club chefs have experienced this member, and the number of them seems to be multiplying at an alarming rate.
According to Mark Bado, MCM, COO of Mizner Country Club (Delray Beach, Fla.), clubs are facing several challenges. Still, the most pressing is membership behavior, especially as it relates to a club’s ability to maintain staffing levels.
“It has become awful in nearly all clubs,” he says of the industry. “Entitlement, due in part to rising initiation dues, has led to behavior that disrespects staff members and has even led to physical altercations with fellow members. Many seem to have lost a sense of self-awareness while becoming hyper-aware and critical of their fellow members and staff.”
Country clubs have long been associated with prestige, luxury, and exclusivity. These private enclaves offer their members an escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, providing access to top-notch facilities, recreational activities, and networking opportunities. However, behind the lush landscapes and elegant facades, there is a disturbing undercurrent of poor behavior exhibited by members. This article sheds light on the need for reflection, respect, and a return to the values that once upheld the integrity of these cherished institutions.
Basic Etiquette
One primary reason for the deterioration of behavior is the diminishing emphasis on etiquette, partly driven by generational change and an acceptance of casual culture. Private clubs exist as microcosms of the larger world, and as our world becomes increasingly casual and polarized by social and political issues, so too do clubs. Traditionally, these establishments have upheld a set of social rules and customs that ensure an atmosphere of decorum and civility. Sadly, many newer members have forgotten—or ignore—these etiquettes. Older members, perhaps facing waning influence in their club’s direction or wistful for a previous iteration of their club and the experiences it offered, also participate in this behavior.
According to several private club General Managers, examples of rude behavior across generations have taken many shapes, including loud and boisterous conversations in dining areas, leaving golf carts in inappropriate places, and ignoring dress codes. Such actions not only tarnish the club’s reputation but also impact the overall experience of fellow members. These seemingly innocuous behaviors can evolve if left unchecked, becoming permissive examples.
Breeding Entitlement
The exclusivity of country clubs can sometimes, understandably, lead to a sense of entitlement among their members. Those who belong to such elite circles may feel that they are immune to the consequences of their actions. This entitlement can manifest in condescending attitudes toward staff and fellow members, as well as a lack of consideration for shared facilities.
The mistreatment of staff members is concerning. Housekeeping, maintenance, and service staff are essential to the smooth functioning of a club, yet they sometimes endure disrespectful behavior, belittlement, and poor treatment from members. This lack of empathy, which can manifest in overtly punitive behaviors, demonstrates a significant departure from the values of mutual respect and appreciation.
An unnamed and well-respected club manager at a prestigious club in southern Florida recently demonstrated what it looks like when a General Manager stands up to unruly members in support of a department head. When his executive chef faced withering messages from their membership in his first few weeks of employment, the GM addressed the behavior at a Town Hall meeting to abruptly put a stop to the unfounded criticisms.
“Common courtesy is no longer common,” he said. “[We must foster] a culture that embraces the men and women who provide services. Leadership requires intestinal fortitude, and as leaders, we must walk the walk. We can’t say that all employees matter [if] our breakroom is located in a closet.”
When asked about the aftermath of his blunt address to the membership, he said that the “silent majority was no longer silent” as members celebrated the calling-out of problematic peers, and club staff rallied behind the manager.
Excessive Indulgence
The presence of alcohol can exacerbate unruly behavior, disrupting the tranquility clubs offer members. Overindulgence can also lead to incidents of drunk driving, posing serious safety risks. Clubs must take measures to ensure responsible consumption and enforce strict rules.
A Shift in Club Culture
Over time, there has been a gradual shift in the culture within some clubs. Instead of fostering an environment of unity, some members have become overly competitive and focused on status, leading to tensions and clashes.
According to Bado, examples of this shift include heated arguments over golf scores, inappropriate comments during social events, and instances of snobbery and cliquishness. Such behavior not only alienates fellow members but also undermines the purpose of these clubs as places of relaxation and enjoyment.
A Possible Way Forward
Clubs have served as esteemed establishments, providing a sanctuary of luxury and relaxation. However, the behavior exhibited by some threatens the integrity of these institutions.
As an old friend and well-respected pastry chef once told me, “We’re all here by choice.” According to the Chamber of Commerce, the national quit rate for the hospitality industry has topped 4.9% since July 2021, far greater than the falling national average of 2.6%. Hospitality faced challenges in staffing well before COVID; increased hostilities toward staff have exacerbated the issue.
The dressing down that I experienced at the outset of this article was part of my own motivation to seek employment elsewhere. The determining factor in choosing my present, and hopefully permanent, place of employment was based on a healthy culture and sound leadership, a pivot from my prior focus on national ranking and compensation.
My new General Manager, Chris Conner, CCM, of Cullasaja Club (Highlands, N.C.), explains the steps of creating a healthy club culture:
- Reinforce Etiquette: Prioritize education and reminders on the importance of adhering to etiquette. Seminars and workshops on social decorum can reinforce a club’s values, as well as messaging in town halls and bulletin articles.
- Zero Tolerance Policy: Implement a zero-tolerance policy for disrespectful behavior toward staff or fellow members. Enforce consequences for breaches of conduct.
- Alcohol Management: Enact strict rules for alcohol consumption, including mandatory training on responsible drinking and monitoring distribution.
- Community Building: Promote a sense of community and inclusivity by organizing events that encourage interaction among members, fostering a culture of friendship and mutual respect.
- Vetting Potential Members: Having potential members join the club for a trial period to understand if they are a cultural fit can bolster the club’s financial position during slow seasons and ensure cultures remain intact.
It’s crucial for members, staff, and management to recognize the gravity of this issue and its impact on staffing and sustainability and take proactive steps to address it. By reinforcing etiquette, curbing entitlement, managing alcohol, and promoting a culture of unity, clubs can reclaim their place as beacons of elegance and respect. Only through our collective efforts can these exclusive enclaves continue to be cherished spaces for generations to come.
